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2 tháng 8 2018

ý bạn là truyện cười tiếng anh đúng không????

 A Cow Grazing

Artist : “That, sir, is a cow grazing”
Visitor : “Where is the grass ?”
Artist : “The cow has eaten it”
Visitor : “But where is the cow ?”
Artist : “You don’t suppose she’d be fool enough to stay there after she’d eaten all the grass, do you ?”

dịch: Bò ăn cỏ

Họa sĩ : – Bức tranh đó vẽ một con bò đang ăn cỏ đấy, thưa ông.
Khách : – Có thấy cỏ đâu ?
Họa sĩ : – Con bò ăn hết rồi.
Khách : – Thế còn con bò đâu ?
Họa sĩ : – Chứ bộ ông tưởng con bò lại ngu đến mức đứng ỳ ở đó sau khi đã ăn hết cỏ sao ông ?

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WHO I AM? 
Mark Twain 
A man in Philadelphia suicide, left a suicide note the following: 
I married a widow. My wife had a daughter grew. 
My father's daughter falls in love with my wife, marry it, so my father became my son-in-law, and my wife's daughter became my mother. 
My husband and I gave birth to a son, so my father's brother in law of my son, and my son, my uncle, because it was the sister of my wife's daughter. 
Then my father's wife gave birth to a son. That's my brother and also my grandson, because it was the son of the daughter of my wife. 
Comment out my wife is my grandmother, because she is my mother's mother. I was her husband who is also her grandchild. Husband's grandmother is his grandfather, so I was my grandfather.

dịch: Tôi là ai?

TÔI LÀ AI?

Mark Twain
Một người đàn ông ở Philadelphia tự tử, để lại một bức thư tuyệt mệnh sau đây:
Tôi kết hôn với một góa phụ. Vợ tôi có một con gái đã lớn.
Cha tôi phải lòng con gái của vợ tôi, kết hôn với nó, vậy cha tôi trở thành con rể tôi, còn con gái của vợ tôi trở thành mẹ tôi.
Vợ chồng tôi sinh được một con trai, vậy cha tôi là anh rể của con trai tôi, còn con trai tôi là chú tôi, vì nó là em của con gái của vợ tôi.
Rồi vợ của cha tôi lại sinh một con trai. Đó chính là em trai tôi và cũng là cháu ngoại tôi, vì nó là con của con gái của vợ tôi.
Luận ra thì vợ tôi chính là bà ngoại tôi, vì nàng là mẹ của mẹ tôi. Tôi là chồng nàng đồng thời là cháu ngoại của nàng. Mà chồng của bà ngoại phải là ông ngoại, vì thế tôi chính là ông ngoại của tôi.

3 tháng 8 2018

oh,i was met you in the bathroom of the restaurent.

3 tháng 8 2018

OK , ask this question first 

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood ?????????

5 tháng 8 2018

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer. "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it you." The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves. "What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!" Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?" The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!"

5 tháng 8 2018

Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guy drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and franally begins to put them on. The second guy says, "What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear." "I don’t need to outrun the bear," the first guy says. "I just need to outrun you."

My sister was always causing problems. When we were both in high school, she would get a fight started and then expect me to finish it. One Friday, I was walking to my car, going home when someone pushed me from behind. I turned and saw a familiar face, I said Hi Kathy, wondering why she pushed me. Then she told me that she and my sister were having a fight and my sister threatened her with me. I assured her that I had no intention of finishing what my sister started. A few more words were stated and Kathy left, with the threat to finish this on Tuesday. I went home and had it out with my sister. Daddy overheard and just walked away. All weekend I pondered on what to do with the situation, on Monday evening daddy and I were talking on the front porch and he brought up the situation. I told him I didn't know what to do, I liked Kathy and didn't want to fight but she seemed determined to do so. Daddy leaned back and said. I tell you what I'd do, first I'd go down that hill and beat the hell out of my little sister, then when people see what you do to family, they'll leave you alone. On Tuesday I got to school a little early so I could get a feel for what was going on. It was quiet, no groups gathered around to see what they can see. I headed towards the front of the building, thinking there might be people there, nothing. I had Kathy in my history class first period, when I stepped into the classroom there was Kathy, just sitting there as if all was well. I went to a seat, keeping an eye on her, but still nothing. The entire day I watched every corner and waited for the other shoe to drop, it never did. After school my sister jumped in my car and explained why I had no trouble. My sister had called Kathy on Monday night and they had worked everything out. I screamed at my sister that I had been paranoid all day, and why didn't she tell me. She meant to but kept getting busy. That was the last fight I ran interference for my sister.

Let me introduce you to my elder sister.

Nidhi has always been the "perfect child" of the family.One of the most beautiful lady I have ever come across. Her dimples can make people go completely crazy for her. I have no idea from where she inculcated all the values and principles that she holds. She is among those few individuals amongst the human population who wouldn't dare to cheat or let others cheat from her during an examination. Even at a very young age she made it a point that I was not spoilt by excessive pampering. She used to stay away from doing any of my homework or assignments. My friends used to get their things done by their sibling but my sister never touched any of my work and today I am capable of doing things my self only because of her. She raised me to be independent and to trust my capabilities. I learnt a lot of things from her. Being the youngest one , I had the tendency of copying whatever she did. Today I can draw,write poems and study well only because of her. I grew up seeing how talented and blessed she is. She is my role model and my lucky charm.

The thing that annoys me a lot is her "over expression" of love by the way of frequent hugs and kisses. Argh -_- ....

She is always there for me.More than often she ends up being the victim of my rage but she never complains. She is my life line;My support system. She always depends upon me for any suggestions or discussions.

We dream a lot together about our secret restaurant plan. Here are few screenshots of our conversation.

31 tháng 7 2023

Hello, everyone. My name is Loc. Today I will talk about my friend. My friend's name is Lucy. Her surname is Kane. She is 11 years old. Student is her job. She is French and she lives in Paris, France. Her hobby is drawing. Thank you for reading. 

13 tháng 6 2023

On my first day at school, I was very excited as I was not going to be a primary schooler but a secondary schooler. I was very happy as it was very easy to make friends and the teacher's were very nice and friendly. Friend's were playful and jolly. Not only that but the food there was awesome. The food was filled with wonderful flavours. The classroom decorations was nice and it was very clean. The entrance was also welcoming. I hope that I will make lot's of friends in school too!
 

Tham khảo nhá :)

13 tháng 6 2023

cảm ơn bn nhaa

3 tháng 2 2022

Tham khảo

There is a famous animated film that I think everyone of us has seen at least once, and it is Tom and Jerry. Almost everyone is aware of the story between the miserable Tom and the mischievous mouse Jerry, and it also was part of my childhood memories. The film is about a life under the same roof between two enemies Tom and Jerry, and of course cat and mouse are always hard to get along with. Tom's owner is very afraid mouse, so she always asks Tom to catch the little mouse living in a cave that he digs on the wall. Tom is a quite lazy cat, and he often has to chase Tom so that he is not scolded by his owner or in exchange for a good meal. Sometimes, Jerry also makes mischievous jokes to tease Tom such as pull out his hair or steal his milk. Another character in the movie is the dog Spike, and he does not seem to like Tom at all. In the chasing scenes of the two main characters, they sometimes run to the garden - Spike's residence - and disturb his sleep. Most of the time, Tom would be the one who suffers Spike's anger while Jerry is having a big laugh. The plot is simple but the film Tom and Jerry always attracts a lot of audiences of all ages thanks to the lovely characters and funny circumstances. Although many years have gone by, the television channels have often displayed this film, and this is the indispensable spiritual food children.

3 tháng 2 2022

Refer

Write about your favourite movie

Today I’d like to talk to you about Harry Porter which is one of my favourite films. It was a fiction film telling a story about people in the wizarding world. The central character was Harry Porter, who used to be an orphan in the normal world before discovering that he was a wizard. Afterwards, he went to a special school called Howard where taught him necessary skills to succeed in wizarding world. He also had to deal with challenges in terms of study, friendship, love and even the fight against dark power.
Harry Porter was recommended as a masterpiece that making me feel curious about it. Moreover, I had read the original novel before, and I really can’t put it down. So I guess the film would be as attractive as the book.
I think the most important reason why I enjoyed this film was that it made me feel adventurous. It was really a fantastic film.

Write about your favourite book

Favorite book and then the series "Doraemon" by Fujiko Fujio. The series told the cat from the future into the past Doremon same friends and help Nobita in the security context miracle. The main character is Doremon with your group Nobita, Shizuka, Xeko, Chaien. Extremely interesting story, engage the reader with the hilarious, witty, and full of magic. But it is also part of suspense through risky adventure of your group. The series is divided into two categories: short stories and novels. I enjoyed the long story, it's about the adventures in a strange land or through time times exciting but dangerous, and the group must go through many difficulties and from there we saw noble friendship bunch of kids. When I read the story I kept imagining myself as the character in that book that I could not put down. And I learned a lot from it especially friendships! If you have not read it try to read offline sure you will like it.

25 tháng 4 2021

"Write your story in 80-100 story" 

Are you sure about that

25 tháng 4 2021

I don think this is right

15 tháng 1 2018

một số tài liệu để bạn tham khảo

bài 1:

hello everyone! My name is Kiriya. I'm twelve years old.I live in Dong Nai. I studying at Le Loi Secondary school. I'm in class 6/7. My favorite subject are English, Biology, Art. I go to schhol six days a week. My best friend are: Nhu, Ngoc, Vy. There are four people in my family: my mother, my father, my sister and me. In my free time, I often go to the park with my family or listen to music and read books. Nice to meet you.

bài 2:

Hello everyone!!my name is Tien.i'm twelve and i'm a student.i'm studying in Nguyen Dinh Chieu school.i live in Phan Thiet city.i'm in class 6a1.i go to school 6 days a week:monday,tuesday,....to friday.my favorite subject is English,Art and Music.After school,i read comic book,listen to music then do homework.my favorite food is fried fish,steak and hamburger.my favorite drink is ice tea and apple juice.sometimes i going to visit friend's house.i usually play sports.my best friends is Thu,Y and Nguyen.they are my good friends.my house is near the beach.in my family,there is four people:my father,my mother,my brother and me.

Nice to meet you and thanks for reading!

bài 3:

Hello everyone. My name is Minh Anh. I'm twelve years old. I am from Thu Duc distric, Ho Chi Minh City. There are four people in my family: my father, my mother, my elder sister and me. My Junior high school is Ngo Chi Quoc. My favorite subject is English. My hobby are watching television, playing magic cube square (rubik) and listening to music. My idol is Jeon Jungkook (BTS). Thank everyone who has read to my passage. Once Again, thanks everyone so much.

bài 4:

Hi everybody ! My name is Duong. I'm twelve years old . I'm a student at Phuc Yen Secondary School . I'm in class 6A1. My favourite subjects is Math , Biology , English and Physical. I'm an easy - going person so I have a lot of friends and other social relationships . I'm comfident , funny and amused , I'm also a bit shy .My hobbies are playing football , table tennis and swimming but I playing the best.I often go out to play with my friends.

I have a big family with six people : My grandparents , my parents , my elder brother and I.Nice to meet you and thanks for reading.

nhớ k mk nha

15 tháng 1 2018

My name is Long and I’m a Vietnamese. I am twenty-four years old. I live in Ho Chi Minh city in the south of Vietnam.

I have a big family with six people. I have two sisters and a brother. My sisters are older and my brother is younger than me. My father is a teacher at a secondary school. He has worked for 35 years in the field and he is my biggest role model in life. My mother is a housewife. She is nice and she is really good at cooking. I love my family so much.
I’m a generous and easy-going person but when it comes to work I’m a competitive perfectionist. I’m also an optimis and outgoing person so I have many friends and other social relationships. I enjoy reading, writing and doing math. I decided to become a Civil Engineer because I have always been fascinated by bridges, buildings, and skyscrapers. A degree in Civil Engineering enables me to achieve my goals and also gives me an opportunity to make a difference in the community.

Five years from now, I want to become a project manager of a construction project. As a project manager, my primary goals are managing people, set budgets, and making decisions of all kinds. I also want to speak English fluently so I can work with people from different countries.

15 tháng 12 2017

My family is small . Thera are only four members in my family . They are my father , mymother , my sister and me .

My father is a teacher . He is about forty-five years old . My mother works at home . She is afew years younger than father . My sister goes to school . She is sixteen years old . I’m five yearsyoungers than my sister .

Everyone in my family is good and happy . My father and my mother love my sister and mevery much . They buy manything for us . Sometimes they takes us to the cinema . They also tell usmany interesting stories . Sometimes thay help us in our studies .

I need , I love my family very much .

chu-de-gia-dinh-trong-tieng-anh.jpg

15 tháng 12 2017

The hometown is a kite, childhood drop in the field, home is a small boat, quietly lashed riverside. Yes, the land is beautiful and immense. My childhood is associated with the rice field home. Remember the days flood, I with my grandmother back to the rice crop. The paddies come up to the knees. If rainy day, my grandmother went out alone, I was at home studying. In the dry season, I went with him to drill hole rat. Two brothers exposed black sun nhndm. I love my hometown very much, I will try to study well to later build the country.

^_^